Number 5 – Compliment, Don’t Compare

Tuesday, October 18th, 2011

As you move out onto the field of dreams, you’ll meet other dreamers.  The temptation to hold your dream in the light of another’s is rooted in the murky water of our soul.

Yes, our dream will serve others; we are better together. But our dream will serve us, the dreamer, as well.

Dreams call us to the edge of ourselves—you know, the comfortable, play-it-safe, hide in the crowd part of us that longs to be accepted.  Yeah, dreams bring us to the hairy edge of that bubble and if we allow it, they will pull us to the other side like a glass that has been poured to the rim, bulging above the limits waiting to run down the sides, spilling free.

In that space of surface tension, things get murky.  Fine, minuscule, slippery soot-like thoughts that have settled on the floor of our heart are stirred up and begin to swarm like plankton in the sea startled by the approach of the hungry mammal.

We thought we had clarity.  We had defined our “why” and were moving forward fueled with passion.  Meeting these others dreamers that are poised with purpose, nestled in networks and share the celebratory testament of the great success they have had along their way, will dwarf the young dream we carry in our heart and illuminate the tight-rope trail we’ve been walking.

Suddenly, what we had in common with the dreamer put us on opposing sides.  Insecurity is an ugly thing that incites the urge to boast, brag and exaggerate. It twists the tongue in hopes that a verbal parade escapes a tight lip, changing the atmosphere and sabotaging a powerful connection.

Fight the temptation!

I’ll tell you right now, your perspective will be skewed and once that murky water is released, like a flood busting as a result of a fault in the earth—breaking free from the dam’s grip, you’ll be swept away by the current and land in previous traveled territory; washed up and all wet.

Do not compare! Do not estimate, measure, or note the similarity or dissimilarity between the dreams. Overcome and seize the opportunity to compliment!

Politely and authentically congratulate, celebrate, admire and champion the dream, courage and chase of those you meet.  Praise the dreamer for their passion, uniqueness and journey.  Then listen…

What happens next will empower you.  Like when a few drops of liquid pierces the tension stretched across the full brim of the glass, when we celebrate and congratulate others, we step onto their side.  We come along side of them, like a teammate and someone who shares their world.  They, like you, have stepped away from the play-it-safe game and are forging their future to find fulfillment.

Teams share their strengths, wisdom and insights.  Connecting with other dreamers builds bridges through which great commerce is exchanged.

When we choose to compliment and not compare, we erase the line in the sand that divides and separates us.  When we compliment and celebrate, we find the common ground and unite.  When united, we share and work together.

Moments and encounters like this launch us forward in our journey with an answer, a lead, a connection or a direction that we may need in the not too distant future.  Comparing isolates, complimenting unites.

Not only will we find ourselves aligned with others, we’ll find that the murky water clears.  When we choose to compliment and not compare, we take on a different stance and perspective, which results in different choices.  Choice brings focus and clarity. Those miniscule thoughts that once held fast to the surface of our heart have been broken loose and removed by the clarifier of choice—the roots of insecurity dissolved.

Compliment—encourage and empower others who dream.  It will thrust you forward and cause others to do for you, what you have done for them.

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